Week Two Analysis
Week Two - Biggest Story
Charles goes the distance against Mike in the highest scoring and closest matchup of the week
League-Wide Summary
Matchup 1: Billy (72.88) vs. Greg (75.72)
- Highest Score: Charles (127.40)
- Lowest Score: Anthony (66.70)
- Largest Margin of Victory: 47.14 (Andrew over Anthony)
- Smallest Margin of Victory: 1.62 (Charles over Mike)
- Top Individual Performer: Lamar Jackson (34.30 points for Charles)
- Trading Places: The biggest turnaround belongs to Charles, who improved his score by a massive 39.84 points from Week 1 to Week 2. On the flippy-flop, Anthony suffered the worst setback, with his score plummeting by 51.38 points from his league-high in Week 1
Matchup 1: Billy (72.88) vs. Greg (75.72)
This matchup was the lowest-scoring affair of the week and featured a battle between two 0-1 teams hoping to avoid a disastrous start. In the end, Greg, like most of the people he runs after in foot pursuits, barely escaped. He handed Billy his second loss but both teams are still cemented at the bottom of the standings.
- Battle for the Basement: With this loss, Billy falls to 0-2 and now holds the unfortunate title of the worst-performing team against projections through two weeks. He has scored a combined 63.82 points below projections. Sad Trombone.
- Costliest Bench in the League: Billy left a league-high 28.70 points on the bench from a single player, Malik Nabers. Starting Nabers over the team's worst starter, Zach Charbonnet (1.00), would have resulted in a point swing of +27.70. There's a joke about neighbors and chardonnay, but I'm not clever enough to figure it out.
- Draft Strategy Setback: Greg employed a "Punt TE" strategy in the draft, waiting until the 13th round (pick 148) to select a tight end. That strategy backfired this week, as starter Sam LaPorta produced only 2.60 points from the TE slot, a significant liability.
- Top Pick Performance: Davante Adams was the single bright spot for Billy, scoring 16.60 points. As a consensus first-round pick in 2025 fantasy drafts, he was one of the few players on either roster to perform up to his draft pedigree in a matchup defined by widespread underperformance.
- The Offensive Cellar: This matchup featured the two lowest-scoring teams in the league through two weeks. Billy ranks 10th with just 135.40 points for, while Greg ranks 9th with 169.20 points for. Maybe if Billy laid off the Charbonett and left it in this wine cellar he'd be doing better - Bam, I knew I'd fucking figure one out.
This contest pitted a team coming off a heart-breaking Week 1 loss against a team that snuck out a win. The AI wrote that, for real, not a personal bias happening here. The trend continued, with Andy moving to a perfect 2-0 while Keith fell down Anthony's driveway and rolled to a stop at 0-2.
- Sophomore Slump: After a strong 117.46-point performance in Week 1, Keith’s score collapsed by 45.44 points in Week 2. This was largely due to his superstars failing to show up—top draft picks Josh Allen and Justin Jefferson combined for a meager 19.92 points.
- Positional Group Decider: The quarterback disparity was the deciding factor. Andy's Kyler Murray had a strong showing with 22.99 points, a solid bounce-back from his team's low-scoring Week 1 win. This single performance outscored Josh Allen by 11.17 points, which is total bullshit, accounting for a significant portion of the final 18.58-point margin.
- Suboptimal Running Backs: Keith started a running back duo of Breece Hall (3.80) and Ashton Jeanty (4.40), who combined for just 8.20 points. Meanwhile, both Kenneth Walker III (17.80) and Rhamondre Stevenson (16.20) sat on the bench.
- A Tale of Tough Luck: The standings reveal a story of scheduling luck. Andy has benefited from the easiest schedule so far, with the lowest "Points Against" (PA) in the league at 134.54. In contrast, Keith has faced the second-toughest schedule, with a PA of 208.68, which is just fucking perfect.
This matchup was a complete reversal of fortunes from Week 1. After posting the highest score of the week in his opening win, Anthony no longer found himself to be a majestic Red Tailed Hawk, instead more closely resembling a Yellow Breasted Finch. Andrew, who had a disappointing Week 1, bounced back like a proud and beautiful Blue Crested Heron.
- From First to Worst: Anthony suffered the most dramatic swing in the league, going from the Week 1 high score (118.08) to the Week 2 low score (66.70). This stunning drop of 51.38 points was the largest in the league was a harsh reality check for Anthony, our leagues walking and talking shag rug.
- Running Back Catastrophe: The primary cause of the low score was a historically poor performance from the team's running backs. Derrick Henry and Aaron Jones, two players with high draft capital and weekly starting expectations, combined for a total of 4.60 points. This devastating lack of production made the matchup non-competitive.
- Stars Overcoming a Dud: Andrew secured the win despite a poor outing from his quarterback, Joe Burrow may have been murdered during the game and only 9.04 points. The victory was powered by the running back duo of Jonathan Taylor (27.50) and De'Von Achane (18.20). Their combined 45.70 points were more than enough to compensate for the death of his QB.
- Projection Accuracy: No team beat their projection by more than Andrew, who scored 113.84 points against a projection of 91.85 (+21.99). Conversely, no team missed their projection by more than Anthony (−41.35)
- Opposing Draft Philosophies on Display: This matchup highlighted a stark contrast in draft strategy. Andrew prioritized the position by selecting the first wide receiver in the entire draft. Conversely, Anthony waited longer than any other team to draft a receiver, not taking one until pick 40. That weakness was exposed this week, as his starting WRs heard about this betrayal and went to a waterpark together on Sunday to take some personal time.
In a tight contest that came down to just a few key performances, Patrick took the lead in the standings and squeaked out a 3.04-point victory to remain undefeated.
- King of the Hill: With the win, Patrick moves to 2-0 and now thinks he's better than all of us as one of only two undefeated teams.
- Draft Strategy Payoff: Patrick, who is clearly an anarchist, went with a bold "Zero RB" draft strategy, selecting zero running backs in the first three rounds. The gamble is paying off, as his mid round RB duo of Jahmyr Gibbs and James Conner combined for a respectable 27.60 points. This solid production, acquired without high draft capital, has been a key factor in his great start.
- A Win in Spite of the Busts: The victory was secured despite disastrous games from his top players. Jalen Hurts scored only 11.54 points, and A.J. Brown was even worse with 2.70 points. The win was powered by unexpected huge performances from tight end Tucker Kraft (18.40) and the Baltimore Defense (19.50), who carried the team.
- Quantified Impact of Optimal Lineup: Steve will be lamenting one specific lineup choice. Starting Jameson Williams (16.80) over the unproductive butthole Courtland Sutton (0.60) would have added 16.20 points to the team's score. That simple swap would have turned a 101.60 final score into 117.80 and changed the outcome from a narrow loss to a comfortable win.
- A Battle of Consistency: This game was a showdown between two of the league's most consistent teams. Through two weeks, big-daddy Steve has scored 200.12 total points, while Patrick has scored 198.12. The close 3.04-point final margin was a fitting result for two teams that have performed at nearly identical levels so far.
The final matchup was the most exciting, featuring the highest combined score (253.18) and the week's smallest margin of victory. In the end, Charles emerged victorious by just 1.62 points in a high-scoring thriller.
- The Projection Breakers: Though he lost this week, Mike has been the most consistent team in the league, having outscored his projections by a combined 11.93 points over two weeks—the best mark in the league.
- The Rebound Award: After a disappointing 87.56-point performance in Week 1, Charles roared back with a league-high 127.40 points. The 39.84-point improvement was the largest of any team, vaulting him to a 1-1 record.
- Battle of the Stacks: This matchup featured two teams built around elite QB-pass catcher stacks. The draft strategy paid off for Charles, as the Lamar Jackson/Mark Andrews combo was effective, with Jackson posting a week-high 34.30 points. For Mike, Patrick Mahomes and Rashee Rice were also drafted as a pair, but Rice is still suspended, so why the fuck is AI pointing this shit out?
- Kicker as a Difference Maker: In a game decided by such a fine margin, every point mattered. Brandon Aubrey was a critical performer for Charles putting up an incredible 22.00 points, bringing that undeniable kicker swag out in the open and showing us all that, inside, we all have a little kicker in us.
- Quantity vs. Quality at WR: The draft data shows Mike invested heavily in receiver depth, drafting the most WRs in the league with 18 pass catchers. That's right, he filled his entire roster with WRs and then wrote the names of more of them on his computer screen in lipstick. This paid off in the matchup, as his starting WRs outscored the receivers for Charles by a margin of 43.90 to 20.40. However, the victory for Charles proved that strength, and friendship, at other positions can overcome a significant positional disadvantage.